Joint Custody Productions: We’re here with Ender Bowen, two-thirds of the amazing duo that will make up the new podcast Topical Vacation, which will be premiering soon on iTunes,and this very website!
Ender Bowen: What… is this… exactly…?
JCP: What is what?
EB: What is this…? This thing that you’re doing…
JCP: The interview?
EB: Yeah.
JCP: It’s an interview.
EB: Right, I got that. What I mean is… I mean you do realize that everyone knows we’re both the same person, right?
JCP: Not necessarily. As a matter of fact, my identity clearly just states that I’m Joint Custody Productions – so I could be Emily Steele.
EB: She and I don’t have this kind of rapport. Everyone knows that.
JCP: Touche.
EB: You do understand how ridiculous this sounds, right?
JCP: Yes. But consider this – if I’m the one handling the interview, I’m likely to paint you in a better light than what’s-her-face, and the whole thing will be about you!
EB: Proceed.
JCP: You and… what’s-her-face… have been trying to set this podcast up for some time haven’t you? What’s taken so long?
EB: Well… coming up with a name really has been the hardest thing. We started with “pain in the you-know-what”, then tried “whatever what’s-her-name” but now we’ve just settled on “what’s-her-face”.
JCP: For… wait… for what, exactly?
EB: For what’s-her-face.
JCP: I’m talking about the podcast.
EB: Right. I’d like to say I’m doing that alone but I’ll have help. From what’s-her-face.
JCP: I’m not talking about that.
EB: You just said you were!
JCP: Right, I mean I’m talking about the podcast, not… what’s-her-face.
EB: Oh, right. Well… I think the main thing was trying to come up with a topic, or something that would set it apart from Common Sense for Dummys and what we do with that. We didn’t want it to be about politics or sports or anything specific. I kind of see it as a stream of consciousness.
JCP: So… given that fact, what’s-her-face is unlikely to contribute a whole heck of a lot to it, is that correct?
EB: That is correct, yes. It’s hard to have a stream of consciousness when you’re practically unconscious. So I’ll be handling most of the duties.
JCP: Did you say “doodies”?
EB: No… I said “duties”.
JCP: But it sounds like “doodies”.
EB: Yes, but you’ll note that we aren’t actually talking to each other so much as we’re just typing out this interview as it comes to our minds. Therefore if you’d just read what you wrote…
JCP: I wrote that?
EB: Yes.
JCP: Okay, I think I’m following you. You… er… I… was saying… er… typing…?
EB: As I was saying, I will be handling most of the duties.
JCP: Are you sure you can handle that okay on your own?
EB: (legible sigh) Some would say I can’t, but I think I’m more than capable of conducting an entire interview… er… show… all by myself, yes.
JCP: Aside from the moments when you have to change the IV for what’s-her-name.
EB: Naturally.
JCP: So who came up with the name Topical Vacation?
EB: I did. Of course.
JCP: Will you really be wearing no shirt, and no shoes?
EB: We’re not big fans of Japanese theater so we’re going to stick to what we do best.
JCP: No… not Noh… “no”.
EB: That’s… helpful.
JCP: I understand how that sounds confusing.
EB: I should hope so.
JCP: Okay, let me try this another way… Your slogan says “No shirt. No shoes. No topic.” Is that what you’ll actually be sticking to while you do the podcast?
EB: We plan on straying from any kind of particular topic or format, yes.
JCP: What about your clothes?
EB: They’ll stick to quick two-word sentences if anything.
JCP: I mean, will you be podcasting naked?
EB: If we can get it past the censors.
JCP: That shouldn’t be a problem though right? It’s an audio podcast.
EB: Our censors are hardcore.
JCP: Do you have anything specific in mind for the first episode?
EB: Hitting record and then speaking, mainly.
JCP: Oh, interesting. Do they have a particular dialect in Maine?
EB: I really have no idea. I’ve never been there long enough to gauge.
JCP: What I’m trying to ask is, do you have any ideas for what you’ll say or do?
EB: In light of recent events, we won’t be reading an earlier version of Huckleberry Finn.
JCP: The censors.
EB: Right.
JCP: Any books you’re reading right now?
EB: An earlier version of Huckleberry Finn.
JCP: Any books you’re thinking of reading in the future?
EB: No.
JCP: To clarify, I didn’t say “Any books you’re thinking in the future of reading”…
EB: Oh, sorry. Misread you. In 2017 I’ll probably read Nostalgia: A Wive’s Tale.
JCP: Is that Jodi Picoult?
EB: I don’t know yet.
JCP: Any music you’re listening to right now?
EB: I’m kinda busy at the moment.
JCP: With what?
EB: This.
JCP: The podcast or the interview?
EB: How long are you going to keep this up?
JCP: People often tell me I ask a lot of myself.
EB: Clever.
JCP: You liked that?
EB: It wasn’t bad, yeah.
JCP: Okay. When can we expect the first episode of Topical Vacation?
EB: The first episode should be coming out sometime within the next few weeks. Until then I suppose just stand by and keep checking back. We also have a FaceBook Page all set up, ready for new fans!
JCP: That sounds great! Well thanks, Ender! I’m glad I didn’t have to twist your arm to do this!
EB: Sure. Goodbye now!
JCP: Hey, wait up!
Lol! Now that was a good interview……..